Eccentric

I feel like someone who is very, very crazy trapped in the body (and mind) of someone seemingly sane. To the world I appear a little different. I still know how to act and socialize properly, but something always remains slightly off. I worry about how others receive me (largely because of my conservative religious upbringing), but inside I feel unhinged. Like if I were fearless and unhinged I would be behaving much more radically all the time. I do want for that. I also want for a social community and acceptability, so I push the boundaries - but only so far. Who would I be if I were savagely free? I wonder all the time...this makes me think that few truly know me, and then I feel very sad, paralyzed, and isolated inside myself.